[Beginning of recording]
Operator: This is Elora traffic control to CRG-type vessel named "Don't Look Please", I am having trouble identifying your engine plumes, could you please specify your propulsion type and engine model so that I can direct you to the approach vector most suited to your situation?
Incoming transmission : [Garbled].
Operator: "Don't Look Please", say again.
Incoming transmission: We have transmitted the full specs of our ship.
Operator: Alright, please hang on a second.
[Garbled background noises.]
Operator Er, "Don't Look Please", I am going to need some additional details on that specifications sheet. It seems that some elements are missing. Unless I am mistaken you are not specifying any main engine apparatuses, I only see RCS thrusters in the propulsion section. What? Alright, "Don't Look Please", hang on for another while.
[Garbled background noises a single swear word might be heard.]
Operator: "Don't Look Please", do you confirm that the piece of equipment mentioned under "High-Impulse Trebuchet" is in fact an electromagnetic mass driver with an exhaust velocity of 30 kilometres per second?
Incoming transmission: Er...confirm, yes.
[Another potential swear word.]
Operator: "Don't Look Please", I have an orbital tug about to translate towards your location. Please stand still, switch off all engines and do not, I repeat, do not perform a deceleration manoeuver. You are to keep your current course and switch everything down, understood? Please confirm.
Incoming transmission: I am not sure I...
Operator: Look, your main engine is a mass driver that fires chunks of rock at 30 kilometres per second in order to create thrust. You are in one of the most well-travelled systems in human space. What were you thinking? Seriously?
All content in the Starmoth Blog is © Isilanka
Written content on Starmoth is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial Share-Alike 4.0 license